The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I could fuck to npr.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
