so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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