sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
