is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
