if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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