at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
