Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
