Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My pussy is not your playground.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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