...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
