fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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