On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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