she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
