just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
