There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
