I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
