Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
