you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
