so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
