Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
