Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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