Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
