the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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