your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
