lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
the raccoons are back...
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