do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
This is my gift to your gina
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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