A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
