my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
