Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
