i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
