Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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