if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
