so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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