it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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