I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
