I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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