He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
