Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
