That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
