Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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