i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Randomize
