if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
