Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
