She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I believe in your delicious
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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