The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
