Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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