Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
