Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
