I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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