margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
