totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
