...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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